2014- Recrudescence

HELLO, 2014!

Such a blank canvas!

Look at you! All shiny and new. 

Squeaky clean!

Well, not for long.

YOU'RE GONNA BE SOME FINE PIECE OF ART!

Ehem...

Well, I expect to make the best out of all the days in 2014. (Or at least attempt to)

I. HAVE. PLANS.

Call it resolutions. 

Call it goals.

I'm gonna make some changes, either way.

So, first thing on the to-do-list is...

Write. Write. And Write.

I don't care in what form. Short story, poem, novel, blog-

Imma write my head off. 

Really.

I have neglected to pay attention to the need of putting down ideas that I have on paper last year and totally disregarded how important it is for me to do so until it was too late and now I have to start all over again. 

Being the immature writer I am, I sometimes wished I had instilled in myself the discipline to just bullshit whatever, whenever on paper and as frequently as possible.

(Okay. So, pen, paper/notebook with me at ALL times.)

I guess I'm just LAZY like that.

And THAT there is also another thing I MUST work on.

SIGH.

I must find the drive and motivation! I MUST!

So, anyway..

Besides that, I have of course decided to come into good terms with my past demons.

Not all of it.

(I happen to love some of my demons)

Just some I know I should let go of because I'm certain in the very core of my 'grudgeful' heart, I must make peace with these demons.

Forgive and let go.

How do I plan to do that?

Sit over coffee and have a nice civilized conversation.

Most importantly, this year I plan to stay more in touch with my friends and put more effort into spending quality time with all of my loved ones. I felt disconnected with some of my friends for the past year because I was so caught up with university life. From the assignments to the tests, the events that I have to manage, the activities I participated in and finally, FINAL EXAMS. 

I should probably stop using school as a lame excuse for the lack of keeping in touch with people who matter to me.

(Okay, hold up! Before we go on any further, I'd just like to mention something about my studies. I sat for my final term exam of diploma some time last year and I must say, I feel abundantly blessed and grateful because after six torturous+memorable terms= 3 years of diploma, I have completed my course with flying colours. Of course, that is something to be proud of. So, ALL THE EFFORT and HARD WORK, sweat ,tears, episodes of wanting to murder some people (Thank God it didn't come to that), hadn't at all gone to WASTE.

DEAN LIST ACHIEVED. 

*patsselfonback*)

Moving on... So...

This also brings to the need for me to go out more.

(Precisely my reaction. Sigh...)

For the longest time I've been so comfortable just staying home. I loved the idea of staying home and getting cozy with a book, painting, baking and crocheting. Since I'm so occupied, busy and am around people so much during the day (sometimes too much), at the end of the day, I love just staying in and occupying myself with ME time. Oh, and how I love my ME time. HOWEVER, I've already started making it a point to break that habit and go out a little more than I have- Meeting up with friends, have some hot coffee talk, go out dancing as much as possible, be more adventurous, try out new things and go to new places as well asssssss-- Getting to know new people and broadening my horizon! 

  

Yay to that!

Yes!

Wooo~

Honestly, it scares me actually. 

I mean, the fuss of having to deal with people and their drama time and time again. 

Ohmaigah...

Enough is enough!

It's just no fun. NO FUN at all.

So draining...

Sigh.

I guess it means I just need to flush out first the unnecessary people who bring the unnecessary problems in my life. Then make room for new ones? I don't know. I really don't know how it's gonna work. I'm not a people person. I love the idea of just having a small circle of friends.

It's gonna be a challenge. Getting to know people and being acquainted with them.

Why am I even doing this if I mehhh about it?

Well, first and foremost, it's a challenge I want to take. I'm not going to go all out Social Butterfly or anything. I'll just take my time getting to know new people and only make an effort if I think they're worth my time and are out of the ordinary. I seem to be attracted to the out of the ordinary and alas-- Trouble, trouble, trouble. 

I should probably be more careful than I already am then...

This is going to be one interesting year. I can already picture it. Wow. Oh, please don't get the wrong idea. I'm merely putting myself out there to expose myself to a world of crazies that I know in turn will inspire me one way or another. What better way to lead a life of constant inspiration if not through the meeting of some wonderful people, right? And I NEED constant inspiration if I want to stay on the creative path of life.

So, is finally finding a soulmate on the to-do-list for 2014?

I've got too much to do, so much to live for already at the moment. A significant other isn't really a MUST (Fact is, it has never ever been a MUST for me). Call it being too much in my comfort zone, call it being a prude, call it fear, call it missing out, call it whatever you want but it's not going to change the fact that I am this woman who believes that if it's meant to happen, then be it. ONE doesn't simply set out looking for another who will be their soulmate. I mean, come on! If you have to look for it and force your way into a relationship just because society says you need to then you have a totally distorted idea of what a relationship is. 

So, if it happens, it happens.

For now, I'm going to continue living this UNattached life of mine because it's so much more fun. 

Dangerous. 

But definitely so much more fun.

LIVE to LOVE.