Losing Patience

I can be utterly patient most of the time. It's like you can be as irritating as a mosquito bite and I'd just be like:

But not before, during or right after The Crimson Tide. I lose my temper instantly if you push the wrong button. I won't snap or anything. I'd just end up grinding my teeth and biting my tongue which makes me disappointed in myself. Oh, even slow connection and my lagging computer can drive me crazy. In order not to scream like a banshee, I'd end up biting and chewing on my blanket like a hungry carnivore.

 I mean, I hate that I lose my patience so easily especially recently. I don't usually give in to it but I don't know! Must be my lack of self-control. I really gotta find back my inner peace. It's Lent after all and it's about to come to an end. PMS is no excuse for being bad tempered. Need to put in more effort in tolerating other people's-- behavior or I might just end up...

Well, the thing is, I get stressed out sometimes and then I realized:

But I just end up choking it all back until I cry...

Sheldon has a point there. Other people can be uber stupid sometimes and it makes me so, so... Frustrated.

Yea... It's going to be a challenge since people are constantly taking advantage of my patience. They do actually. I realized that and the more I hold back my frustrations, the more of a monster I feel I'm becoming. Then again, it might just be me. I'm the one who needs to get my anger sorted out and I pray to God every night not to be one. I fear the day I'd actually chew someone's head off. Ugghh...

So, for these few days before Easter, I NEED to keep my patience intact and absorb all the good aura and release more good aura to the world so that people who receive it in turn would not do anything to make me upset-- Well, at least I hope so. Does it even work that way, I have no idea.

And here's one great reminder. 

We all actually have inner peace, it's just that we let it slip every time we allow ourselves to become angry and frustrated. One thing I've come to learn is to breathe... And to take deep breaths and to not stop until  I've calmed. Well, got to remind myself to do it because once I forget to breathe that's it.

I label myself an epic failure after that.

*takes deep breath*

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*sigh*

Right now, losing my patience is my biggest flaw.
I'm sure you have some conflicts with yourself as well.
Here's what I tell myself every night before bedtime:

'Tomorrow is another day for self-improvement'.

So, take tomorrow as another day to become a better person.
Use 'tomorrow' to improve yourself when 'today' you've failed.
Like all things, it takes time to achieve it.

Because,

Until the next post,

Live, Love, Laugh. xoxo