And then you just become so unhappy with your present life. Some of us are lost. Some of us have goals but don't see how it's possible to reach them. Some of us are just-- Stuck. Been there, done that.
Well, everyday of my life is a continuous 'What the hell am I doing with my life?!' statement. Just that, I ask myself that every morning when I wake up and tackle the question immediately.
"Oh, right! I'm doing something good here. I'm helping Mum out with things at home. I know she can't do everything on her own and I know she needs me."
"I don't go out much these days to socialize and have fun. It's okay! Taking a break from crowds allows me to pay extra attention to myself-- My wants and needs."
"What I'm doing now isn't exactly what I had in mind. On the bright side, at least I'm gaining experience and skills from it."
I give myself purpose even if it's a small matter. For me, it's still something.
Yea, if you think I'm content with my life now, you've guessed right but I wasn't always like this. I wasn't always happy and accepting of my life. In fact, I reached a point where I became depressed.
Unlike a lot of people my age, I'm considered way behind. I have friends with good jobs at my age, making their own living, holding a degree, etc. I have family members with ambition and incredible goals which they are so capable of reaching. I used to be bothered by this. I asked myself, "Did I make the wrong choices?" "Is this all that I'm cut out for?" "Why can't I be just like them?". I used to feel so small standing next to these people who have and will accomplish so much in their lives. And I'm here like, "Meh.."
I used to be lost, stuck and unhappy for a terribly long time. I used to think I made all the wrong choices. I wanted to just give up on Life. (Most dumbest thing I've ever felt and thought). I even cried myself to sleep almost every night.
Click Future Troubles to read about my own experience.
I guess I hated the thought of falling behind and going nowhere in life or so I thought I was but I hated the thought of being miserable so much more. So, slowly I started to change the way I reacted to things, my negativity and my bitterness. I realized I actually had so much to be grateful for presently-- That I can accomplish amazing things and really have a purpose in life. It didn't have to be difficult and big things. It can also be small things. I just need to take it one step at a time.
We're all different which means we all have our own hopes and dreams. Some great, some small but still important nonetheless. If you don't have one (been there, done that) just take some time to figure it out. It will come to you. Ask yourself what YOU want. Relate it to your passions, things you're good at, what you can see yourself achieving in the long run-- Work on it. Remember, it doesn't have to be GREAT BIG stuff. It can be small too. Starting small is a good way to build yourself up slowly up to the more difficult stuff. Just know that, everything needs effort and hard work. Nothing in this world comes easy so don't expect it to. Read Note To Self for a quick reality check.
Feeling unhappy all the time can really take a toll on you. I had a dark cloud looming above my head for so long that it turned me into a demotivated person who did not utilize her gifts and talents and time to the fullest! Just so you know, YOU have gifts and talents and time too. So, yea. I went through that phase until I just told myself I had to STOP all the nonsense.
Like I said, I hated feeling miserable for a few minor reasons when I have 101 more things I should be happy and grateful for. My happiness I know depends on me, myself and I. So I made a happy list. A happy list should definitely be given a try. Make one for yourself. Practice it. Live by it.
Go to My Mixed Happy List to see the list of things that I carry out to make me stay happy.
Don't worry so much. It gets you nowhere. There are some people I know who are in their 30s who still haven't gotten it all figured out and are still trying to find their way. It's really very normal to be clueless about your life at some point but bear in mind that Life goes on which means you have to continue exploring and have that sense of self-discovery. Don't be discouraged. Be better than you were yesterday. Improve and change what you can. Accept what you can't. Don't fight it.
I don't have a specific goal. I just hope and dream that whatever I end up doing in the future will be something that I am content with and will make sure I'll make the best of it even if it's not really what I wanted to do in the first place. Vague, huh?
Right now my purpose is to simply Live and be Happy. Sounds cheesy? Well, it gets cheesier. I realized (for me) it's by being there and doing as much as I can for my loved ones. Their happiness, is my happiness. I also go on with life making the best of what's laid out in front of me. Whatever challenges and obstacles I may face, I made up my mind to take them on fearlessly. The people whom I love are my drive to succeed as well. I know that whatever I choose to do or wherever I choose to go, I have the love and support of those around me.
Our purpose can be anything, I just made the core of mine Love.
I'm not at the top of the success ladder but hey, I'm on my way.
Live, Love, Laugh.
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